


His Bitten Heart

by idrilsdarkwritings (idrilhadhafang)



Category: Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Background Shara Bey/Han Solo, Explicit Sexual Content, Hand Jobs, Incestuous Sex, M/M, Obsession, One-Off Rey/Ben Solo, Possessive Ben Solo, Pseudo-Incest, Sort of? - Freeform, Step-Sibling Incest, obsessive ben solo
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-10-07
Updated: 2019-10-07
Packaged: 2020-11-26 14:01:30
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 2,898
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20931401
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/idrilhadhafang/pseuds/idrilsdarkwritings
Summary: In which Shara and Han marry, and things get all the more complicated for Ben and Poe.





	1. Prologue: Razor’s Edge

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: I own nothing. Thank God. 
> 
> Author’s Notes: I really have no excuse for this other than some people bringing up the pseudo-incest thing when it comes to Darkpilot (which...not only is it not my thing — the pseudo-incest bit, that is — but Leia’s insufferable in the ST, so fuck that noise) and...well...I have bad ideas. *Prays she doesn’t get in trouble with the law for writing this*

Ben is only nine years old when he meets Poe Dameron. 

It’s a simple enough set-up, he can’t help but think. Shara Bey and Han Solo met. Their spouses were out of the picture — though even at nine, Ben already got the idea that Shara and Kes’ marriage had ended on a less sour note than his own parents’ had. 

Poe is nine, like him. Nine years old, and Ben can’t help but notice, even as Shara introduces him to Poe, how pretty he is. He has a cool accent too — a lot like Shara’s. The Damerons have Guatemalan ancestry, his dad’s told him, in one of those talks about the differences between other people. “There’s a lot of variety in the world,” Han says to him. “Like different flavors, different colors, different everything, really.” Ben decides he likes that variety. A lot, actually. 

“Hi,” Ben says, shyly. He’s always been an awkward kid. No beauty, some people have all but implied. Even standing in Poe’s presence, he feels even more awkward. 

Luckily, Poe is more than accepting. He doesn’t care that Ben has big ears and weird freckles and such, that he’s shy and awkward and strange. He seems to actually like talking to Ben, seeming to go out of his way to actually make him giggle a bit. Mostly through a remark that strikes Ben as pretty funny. 

Ben doesn’t know many people who actually like talking to him. 

***

A year passes. Shara and Han are dating proper, and Ben can’t help but feel at least a pang of resentment. He doesn’t know why — Shara’s kind to him, and she makes Dad happy. Poe’s cool and nice and interesting, but that would just make it even better if they were...

Stepbrothers. 

It’s hard thinking of Shara Bey as a stepmother. Ben can’t help but think of the stepmother stereotypes, like in Cinderella — like the mean lady who made Cinderella work as a servant in her own home. Mom tried her best, but trying your best doesn’t magically make the pain you accidentally inflicted better. Ben’s learned that all too well. 

And Poe as a stepbrother...well, the stepsisters in Cinderella were just that, stepsisters. There haven’t been any evil stepbrothers that Ben’s heard of. And Poe is too nice to be evil, Ben thinks. He just wishes his stepbrother-to-be (possibly?) wasn’t so pretty and nice. 

Pretty. If Poe didn’t defend him...well, Ben doubts he would feel as inclined to this kid as he is. But here he is, and he’d follow Poe everywhere, even to hell and back. 

***

Shara and Han marry when Ben and Poe are thirteen, and even in the midst of noticing how beautiful Shara Bey looks in a wedding dress, how handsome Dad looks in formal wear...Ben can’t help but feel a strange sense of loss. It doesn’t make sense, of course. After all, he’s gaining a stepbrother — a cool stepbrother at that. Even as Poe turns to him and gives him a reassuring wink, though, he swears he feels his stomach flip. He swears that Poe’s little gestures, his moments of patting Ben on the shoulder or winking at him like they’re sharing a secret, are going to make him lose it, and he doesn’t know why. Is he feeling something more for his stepbrother-to-be? Isn’t that weird?

Ben sighs, smiles back at Poe. Even if things are getting a little odd...well, Poe doesn’t have to know. That’s what matters, right? 


	2. Obsession In His Bones

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Things get worse as Ben gets older.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I own nothing.

Ben is fifteen years old when he realizes that he’s in love with his own stepbrother — and he feels sick even thinking about it. 

His fluttery, floppy feelings thinking about Poe really are getting worse. He can’t stand seeing Poe with the various girls he brings home, can’t even look at them without feeling like it’s all wrong, like a piece has intruded in his space and is getting a little too chummy around Poe for comfort. He almost finds it painful and yet wonderful when Poe laughs or smiles, and feels that painful feeling in his chest like his heart is too big for it. 

It’s not fair, of course. The girls Poe brings home are decent people. But Ben can’t help but feel left out, excluded. Like he’s not important to Poe somehow. 

Not important. Hell of a fucking feeling. Of course, Ben knows logically it isn’t true. Knows logically, because Poe has taken him aside and said that he is important, more important than he knows. 

Sometimes, Ben thinks it will break him, how much he belongs to a young man with a name like a famous horror writer. Poe. People have made fun of his name. Ben doesn’t mind it at all. It’s simple and pretty-sounding. But it will break him, doom him, how much he loves someone who’s off-limits. 

  
***  
  
The first time that Ben tries to ask a girl out, it fails miserably. Her name’s Rey, and they’re both eighteen when Ben tries to ask her out. She’s surrounded by her girl friends, and it’s like from the way they look at him, they know already what a fucking creep he is. A young man with too-big ears and too big a nose. No wonder some of Rey’s girl friends look at him like they’re noticing a pile of dog shit on the floor. 

Rey at least tries to be diplomatic. Tries. “You’re a nice person, Ben, but...I’m kind of interested in someone else.”

Oh. Ben can practically feel himself wilting. 

“It’s okay,” he says. It doesn’t feel okay, really. It reminds him that he can’t pretend, that he’s not good enough. He’s hopelessly besotted with his stepbrother, and he’s good as doomed.   
  


***

He isn’t the only one who’s not exactly in a good spot either. Poe’s home, having ordered a pizza (Shara and Han are celebrating an anniversary) and he seems to be all but tearing through piece number three. A whole cheese pizza. Poe’s always had a soft spot for pigging out, and he looks up as Ben enters. 

“Hi,” Ben says hesitantly.   
  
Poe looks up. “You okay?” he says.   
  
“I tried to ask Rey out and she turned me down.”

”Shit. That’s rough.” Poe scarfs down the rest of his slice. “You can have pizza with me. I mean, it’s not like Mom’s gonna yell at us.”

Ben is grateful for pizza. Even as he eats, he says, “I wish I was you.”

Poe laughs, startled. “What brought this on?”

”You can get anyone you want.” Ben says. “I...can’t. I’m too ugly, I guess.”

Poe nearly drops his fourth pizza slice. Then, “You’re beautiful, Ben.”

Silence. Poe seems to realize what he’s said, at least. “I — I mean — shit, I...fuck...”

”You’re beautiful too,” Ben says. “So beautiful.”

Poe stares at him, putting two and two together. Then, “Ben, we can’t; we’re good as related — ”

”Not by blood.”

”Still! I can’t do this to you. You’re so...precious, and if I went through with it...”

”You’re acting like I’m asking you to abuse me.” Ben swallows. “I love you. I love you so much I swear it hurts. You don’t know how much I’d do for you. I’d...” He can’t say anymore. He swears he needs Poe, needs him like air. 

“You don’t know what you’re saying, Ben.”

”I do. I loved you even before your mom married my dad. I still love you.”

”Familial love and romantic love are all mixed up for you.”

”No,” Ben says. “I just...I...”

_I need you,_ he thinks. _I’d do anything you’d want. I’d be your slave_. 

Poe looks over at him. “You’re upset about Rey and need comfort.”

”I asked her out because...I wanted to cover up how I felt.”

Comprehension, recognition, seems to dawn on Poe all at once. 

“I love you,” Ben says. He feels like a broken record, and he still can’t express these feelings in a way that are enough. “I wish I were free of this pain.” 

They snuggle on the couch together, and Poe strokes his hair, and Ben’s taking some pleasure in Poe’s touch. He purrs, and he can picture that Poe’s not his stepbrother rebuffing his advances, but his lover, touching him and accepting Ben’s touch in turn. BB, the family dog, hops on the couch beside them as Poe’s caresses calm Ben down. 

Ben can lie there, and pretend they’re lovers. He doesn’t have to pressure Poe, in that moment. Right now, he can pretend that he’s beautiful and Poe’s not his stepbrother and that they’re lovers and everything’s all right. That when his chest aches, it’s not with the pain of Poe panicking about their relationship but with every bit of love he has for this man.   
  
Ben can ask about Poe’s reaction in the morning. For now, he’d best sleep...sleep and pretend. 


	3. Orbit

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ben and Poe act on their feelings.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I own nothing. 
> 
> Author’s Notes: Here there be explicit sexual content. Feel free to click the back button if you’re Squicked by the context of said content.

Of course the illusion wears off when Ben wakes up the next morning. They’re still stepbrothers. They’re not lovers. It doesn’t mean that Ben doesn’t need him. He almost wishes that Shara didn’t marry his father. Almost. Even as he sits across from Poe, he also wishes that Poe didn’t seem worried about him, nervous about him. If he hadn’t fallen in love with Poe before he even knew what those feelings were. If only. 

School is marginally better. Bazine tries to comfort him over it. “Rey’s a bitch,” she says. “Really. Anyone would be lucky to have you, Ben.”

Ben definitely hopes she’s right. 

***

It’s when Poe drives Ben home from school that he actually seems a little too tense, almost anguished. Ben can see it in the set of his jaw, in the way he tries too hard to stare ahead at the road. Ben can’t say he likes it. The radio’s playing right now, some old throwback to the 2000s, and Poe speaks. “Ben, about last night...”

”I was stupid,” Ben says. “I’m sorry.”

”No, I...truth is, I’ve been hiding a lot of things too. I had some time to think about it, really, in English and such and I just...” Poe sighs. “I love you. Not just like a stepbrother. I just know that I can’t...cross that line, I can’t hurt you...”

”You won’t,” Ben says. “You’re assuming I don’t want it. I do, Poe.”

”You’re — ”

”Eighteen, same as you. And I don’t want you to slip through my fingers.”

Poe concentrates on the road a little too hard. Then, “Mom and Han will be furious if they know.”

”I know. But they don’t have to know.”

Poe looks over at him, sighs. “I never thought I’d lie to my own mother.”

When they get home, Poe actually kisses him, proper, and Ben deepens it for a short second before they have to get inside. Ben already knows a fire’s erupted in his belly, and he needs more. 

***

From there, Ben already feels hungrier. The fact that he can’t kiss and hold Poe whenever he wants...well, it does make the moments when they can kiss and touch even sweeter. It’s just kissing, Ben thinks, even as Poe’s fingers run through his hair. It’s not like they’ve actually upped the ante, actually had sex. They’re just making out, fooling around, in their bedroom upstairs. It’s a damn good thing that Shara and Han are at work, because Ben doesn’t want to hurt them...

”Fuck,” Ben says, even as the kiss breaks and he licks his lips, wanting to taste Poe however he can, “You’re so soft down there, Poe.” He’s referring to Poe’s body, of course, to his soft curvy sides and hint of a tummy. 

“Well, thanks,” Poe says sarcastically. 

“No, I love it,” Ben says. “Just...fuck me, lie down and let me show you.”

Poe nods. He lies down, and Ben pulls his shirt up, kissing and playfully nibbling Poe’s soft, not-quite-flat tummy. Poe moans, seeming torn between unexpected shyness and growing surprise and arousal at Ben showering so much attention on his soft parts. 

“Fuck,” Ben rasps. He traces the outline of Poe’s dick through his pants with a finger. “Like it?” There’s a stab of guilt in him that they’re actually progressing so far as to have sex, but then again, no actual penetration’s involved, is there? They’re just messing around. 

“I love it, Ben, I love you...”

”Well,” Ben says casually, “You’ll say anything when I’m touching your dick through your pants. Still, I like you saying you love me. Say it again.”

”I love you, Ben.” Poe’s dick is getting pretty hard even as Ben continues to tease at it with a finger. Hard as a rock. Poe groans in desperation even as he bucks against Ben. “Fuck...my dick...”

Ben hesitates. “You want me to take care of this?”

”I can’t take it; I’m so hard, Ben...”

”Show me your dick,” Ben murmurs. “Show me how hard you are, darling. How horny you are.”

Poe shows him. Ben asks if he wants his hand there — he doesn’t want to get into penetration. Somehow, it feels like crossing a line. (Of course, some movies and such — like Clerks — suggest that even giving a blowjob doesn’t count. Ben doesn’t know if it’s true or not)

Poe agrees. Ben’s hand curls around his dick and begins jacking him off. Ben’s thoughts are a million places at once — if this is wrong, if Poe’s feeling good, if Han and Shara are going to pull into the driveway at any minute. Poe’s panting, gasping, and then —

The familiar sound of the garage door. Fuck. Poe hurriedly pulls on his pants, groaning in frustration. Ben just wonders how he’s going to explain Poe being hard enough to be noticeable through his pants. 

Dinner is noticeably interesting, between Poe trying to concentrate on what Shara is saying, Ben multitasking between concentrating on Han complaining about work and how stressful it was and having his eyes dart over to a very uncomfortable Poe. Poe, who’s crossing his legs and trying not to shift, and Ben can’t help but feel frustrated that they were interrupted. 

Poe still has a pretty healthy appetite. Even as he eats, Ben already can’t help but watch even as he actually moans while eating — and if Ben didn’t know better, it sounds desperate for release. And of course, Ben can’t help but feel hard himself just watching Poe eat before settling back with a sigh and a pat to his belly. “Fuck, I’m full,” Poe murmurs, and Ben is all but riveted by the strange mixture of need for release and dazed contentment. Of course, Poe’s up for dessert too, and by the time they both make excuses to go up and do homework, Poe’s clearly uncomfortable and aroused all at once. 

“If they saw I was eating less than usual, they’d notice,” Poe says. Seems as legit as anything, Ben thinks. Of course, he is all but rock hard with his crotch of the pants all but tenting as a result of his erection, and as he collapses on the bed, he spreads his legs and guides Ben’s hand to his dick. Ben traces the line of it, hard and growing wet against the crotch of his pants. 

“I bet you really, really want to come,” Ben says softly. 

Poe groans in desperation. “Please...”

Ben pulls away Poe’s pants at his request. And Poe’s hesitant at first to say that he wants to fuck Ben’s mouth, but he eventually manages to voice it. “I couldn’t stop thinking about you,” he said. “Your mouth on my dick...”

Ben freezes. Then, “What if we cross a line?”

Poe laughs, though it’s a bit strained. “I think we already did. Besides...you’re acting like you’re raping me. You’re not.”

Ben can only hope that Poe’s right. He knows, of course, that when it comes to Poe, he’s all but overwhelmed with love for this young man. 

Ben doesn’t give him a blowjob tonight. They agree that Ben can jerk him off, finish what he started. Ben doesn’t see anything wrong with that. It’s just touching. He keeps telling himself that even as Poe suppresses a moan at Ben’s touches, as he bites his lip. Eventually, he gives up biting his lip and just pants, and when he does come, Ben catches it. 

Ben sucks his fingers, tasting so much sticky, salty come, and Poe is groaning in satisfaction. It’s one of those instances where Ben can’t help but feel satisfied and guilty all at once. Then again, it’s not like he actually penetrated Poe. Right? 

Even as he cleans off his hand, he feels a twinge of shock at what he’s done. He just jerked Poe off. To climax. He can’t help but wonder...

”What exactly did we do, Poe?” he murmurs even as Poe zips his pants back up and escorts him to bed. 

“I think that’s self-explanatory, darling.” Even Poe calling him that endearment makes Ben feel dizzy and happy all at once. 

“Was it...right?”

Poe sighs. “I don’t know. The truth is, I feel good around you. Like I was meant to be with you.”

Ben can’t deny it. He feels complete, whole around Poe. He doesn’t know if it’s right when they’re together. It feels painful when they’re apart. 

“I love you,” he says, and Poe kisses his forehead and leaves, leaving Ben with that feeling like he needs more. 


End file.
